Palms Up, Palms Down in a Meeting

Your body reacts before your words settle into place. Under pressure, the limbic system moves through freeze, then flight, then fight, and those reactions can show up as stillness, withdrawal, or more forceful movement. Start with one question: is this person showing more comfort or discomfort than a moment ago? Establish what they do when nothing important is at stake, then look for several changes that occur together and immediately after a specific topic. ^{†1Some Things You Can't Hide, p.3 †2The Book of Tells, p.349}

In a project meeting, you see a colleague say, “I think this deadline is realistic,” while both hands turn upward above the table, fingers loose and palms visible to the group. A camera records the palms facing up, the hands held out, and the gesture landing at the end of the statement. This is a palm-up display: the asking position, where the speaker offers an idea and asks others to accept it. ^{†1The Definitive Book of Body Language, p.64}

Across the same table, you see another colleague say, “We will keep the current date,” with both palms flat on the tabletop. The hands remain down as the statement ends, taking up space rather than offering it. This is a palm-down display: an assertive, settled position that claims the point and tells rather than asks. Palm orientation also shapes the balance of a handshake, where a downward palm places the other person in a lower position. ^{†2The Definitive Book of Body Language, p.64}

Baseline comes first. If a colleague uses palms-up gestures throughout a relaxed conversation about routine work, the display is part of how they speak; if their palms turn up only when you ask about a delayed deliverable, note the change. Then look for a cluster and its timing: the palm display, a pause, hands pulling back, or a shift away from the table immediately after the question gives you more to examine than the palm display alone. A palm display is not proof of honesty, certainty, or deception; it tells you whether the speaker is asking, asserting, or changing from their own pattern in that moment. ^{†1The Book of Tells, p.349 †2The Definitive Book of Body Language, p.64}